Monthly Archives: August 2016

40 Days of Forgiveness – What Can Be Learned?

I'm right!

Everyone knows you need to forgive, that it sets you free, and that you can’t be at peace until you have forgiven. We often see the results of someone that lacks forgiveness when something hits a nerve. The person suddenly turns into an angry and animated stranger within seconds.

The cost of not forgiving is steep. It is unhealthy emotionally. It helps fuel the bitterness and anger that is part of the root of many diseases and other physical conditions. The smartest thing we can do is to learn to forgive, not for the sake of the other person but for ourselves. Until we forgive, we are still chained to that person or event, frozen in time so to speak. No matter how much we believe we have buried something, it is still likely to come back, maybe even on an innocent person.

Armed with this knowledge, an article on brainwave technology appeared. The premise is that recordings at certain frequencies will bring your brain to the theta state, or the same state monks reach in meditation of years of practice. Interestingly, this state is ideal for reprogramming and new learning. Imagine my surprise when the system had a $700 price tag. The good news, as fate would have it, is I found a free sample on what else but forgiveness.

Armed with my new thirty-minute long MP3 download that included the latest in brainwave technology, I was ready to take on the holy grail of forgiveness. It sounded easy, after all, I had already forgiven everyone. It was only an exercise to be sure nothing was missed. I randomly decided on forty days with no less than 30 minutes per day, much of it during walks or while exercising, or before sleep in bed.
The frequencies were enjoyable. They were relaxing and could induce a lightheaded state. The positive forgiveness affirmations were simple and become predictable. Below are the observations and conclusions from the experience.

• It is easier to spot the lack of forgiveness in others now. It is much easier to see their past issues coming into the present situation.

• I am more aware of when I am not in a forgiving or accepting state, yet still get to that state despite the awareness of it.

• People often forget that forgiveness is not just for the past but that is also very important for the present moment. We seem trained to look at the past to forgive, but that is only half of it – it needs to be done in the present moment. Doing so can save considerable grief and angst.

• Since we must forgive in the present moment, forgiveness includes acceptance; acceptance of others, or in other words, forgiving them for being different, the way they are, or how they think. It includes acceptance of situations and things we cannot control and are perhaps wiser not trying to control.

• It is easy to forgive people from a distance. Yet what is easy at a distance becomes quite difficult to do face to face. Old habits of anger toward certain persons still creep up no matter how much you believe you have forgiven.

• Most people not aware of their hidden resentments or childhood programming regarding forgiveness. They simply do not see its impact on the present or even acknowledge it exists. The intellectual acknowledgment of forgiveness, or even the belief of having forgiven someone, is not the same as actual forgiveness.

• It seems logical to conclude that almost anyone who says they are over it and have forgiven everyone is most likely unaware of their own lack of forgiveness, fooling themselves, or among the few who are simply posturing. My bet is that together we could have them seething in just a few minutes or less.

The biggest lesson learned is that I have farther to go than believed before the 40 days started and am pretty certain most other people do too. I have not forgiven as much as I thought. It was only the intellectual idea that I had and in some cases the actual belief.

Until a person looks at a map to see where they are starting and acknowledges where they are on the map, the map won’t do much good. Looking at forgiveness with an honest open mind and searching out where you really are on the map is an important place to start.

If you are interested in the free forgiveness sample, go to this link and click the download button:
(Please note that I am in no way affiliated with this product and I have no idea how long the owner intends to keep the free offer or site.)

Article by Paul Nieto – Old Dirt Road

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12 Pitfalls and Blocks to Personal Growth and Improvements


Why do so many self-improvement projects fizzle away? The best of our intentions sometimes seem to dwindle away within weeks. Why do we start only to quit? What is it that stops us from improving? Below we will explore a few of the many blocks and pitfalls.

Fear or Uncertainty
Fear is can be a subtle culprit. It could be a fear of failure, “If I don’t try then I can’t fail.” It could also be a fear of success, “If I lose all that weight, then have to keep it off.” Another fear may be, “What will people think if I fail?” The fear could also be the uneasiness of doing something new or going into unexplored territory.

Thinking it will be Easy – Unrealistic Expectations
Sometimes an idea sounds great, but the reality is that it takes work. Say you go to a jam session and get inspired to start practicing that old saxophone or guitar in your closet. It will be great. Maybe you decide to start painting again. You daydream about how great it will be, but the daily repetition of practice soon puts the dream to rest. Things often look easier when some else is doing it.

Getting Caught Up In the Euphoria – a Common Pitfall
Maybe it’s a book. Maybe it was a video. Sometimes people make rash decisions then do something foolish. An example is Mike wants to lose some weight so he spends $375 on a one-year health club membership that he only uses for 2 months. Maybe Jan decides to write more on her blog and after a free webinar, she spends $550 on a writing course that she only one-quarter way completes. Generally, it is not wise to purchase anything until you are already in motion with a track record. Otherwise, it often leads to waste.

Seminar Addiction
Rather than getting started, some people just keep going to every class and seminar they can find on a given subject. They love the seminar highs but never get to the real work. Lodging for out of town weekends can also be costly. If you purchase any materials they are selling the cost increases even more. The seminars become a substitute for doing what needs to be done.

Preparation and the Leaning Addiction
A person may buy some used books and start reading. Next, he finds free videos on the internet. The reading and videos continue as the learning becomes more interesting than the original goal. He becomes an expert on the subject but never takes action, much like an expert in gardening who has no garden. Preparation and learning are important, but often they can be tools of procrastination.

Stuck at a Phase
May people reach a plateau and stop. It is easy to find a new discovery or make a certain accomplishment then stop. Often in therapy, for example, a person becomes mesmerized by some new discovery and never goes beyond the point. They become experts on their condition but do little to get past it.

Not prioritizing
You need to decide what is important and what is not. You may need to cut down on some comfortable but non-productive activities such as television, watching sports, drinking, or even socializing. You need to look for things of lesser importance and cut them out.

Not scheduling – Not Pacing
Scheduling solves many of the problems listed in this article. “What gets scheduled, gets done.” If you schedule it and stick to it, you will eventually make progress. Don’t try to do it all at once. Always start out slow then build on that foundation once it is solid. Start with smaller increments of time than increase gradually.

Not Getting Back up After a Setback or Fall
Sometimes we just fail. No matter how good a try we give some things, we will at times fall flat on our faces. That is just how life is. There can be any number of reasons for a failure, but that does not mean you need to just give up and quit. That leads us to the next pitfall, giving up.

Giving up
Maybe its discouragement, maybe it is difficult, but don’t quit. A setback or a fall is not a failure until you quit. In other words, you have not failed until you have given up.

Not Enough Time
The not enough time trap is one of the most common. It is an excuse. The truth of the matter is you have no less time than anyone else. We all get 168 hours in a week. Do you want to do it or not?

Speaking of excuses, there are more than a million reasons not to start or to just give up – the job, the family, your mother, the kids, your age, headaches, or any other number or things. You can use almost anything on this list as an excuse. The question is – Do you want an excuse, or do you want results? The choice is yours.

In closing, you need to think things through, make a plan, and have a schedule. Think before spending any money. Always give things a couple days to cool down so you don’t make emotional decisions that will cost you. Dream a little but do the work. If the cause is good, don’t let anything defeat you. Winners rarely quit.

Article by Paul Nieto – Old Dirt Road
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