When Someone Advances and No Longer Has Time for You

Often when a person advances, old friends or supporters will notice that the person no longer has the time for them that they once did. One may think or say things such as “he’s changed.” Notice that change is framed as though it is a bad thing. But is it? Maybe, maybe not, but since when is not changing a virtue? Isn’t life by nature generally about change and growth?

Instead, it is best to think, “well, good for them.” If they have moved up or advanced and no longer have time to answer your calls or texts, that’s great! Be happy that they are improving, moving on, or fulfilling their purpose. After all, what kind of friend, has a pity party in their friend’s success? Certainly, that is no real friend.

Sometimes, perhaps a person worked with the recently promoted or helped the recently promoted to get where he was. Maybe the complainer supported or sometimes worked closely with the advancing person. You may hear them say, “I guess he thinks he’s too good for me now,” or “he doesn’t even appreciate all I did for him.” But did that person do it only for the other or did they in part do it for themselves? Were they forced to do it? Were they forced to help? Didn’t they want to do it? If not, that is their own error and not the fault of anyone else. If it was an on-the-job situation, weren’t they paid for it?

As for your personal situation don’t forget, if you had not been there, someone else would have most likely filled your role instead. That aside, it’s still good when someone advances, even if they no longer return calls or texts. It’s good they moved forward. Perhaps any resentment you have may show where your life is lacking.

If you were of any help to this person succeeding, even a small part, that is wonderful. It is great if you supported or assisted, even in a small way. Take a good look at yourself. Perhaps it’s
now time for you to do something bigger. You cannot be a good leader until you are a good follower. If you followed this person well and now they advanced, you are a good follower and your chance has just come closer.

If you aren’t interested in leading that is fine too. Leaders need support. What good is a leader with no supporters or good team players to help carry out the work? Nothing will get done. The small tasks a team player does is just as important as what the advancing person does. If you actually helped them, that is great. Perhaps you are good at what you do.
Perhaps you are a great and valuable team player. Perhaps you are a good support person. Those can be hard to find. There is no less glory in being a team player, or a support person, rather than the leader. All need each other. All are of equal importance. All parts combine to make the whole.

Consider this. Just keep doing what you are doing and if necessary find another team. Also, remember that unconditional love is happy to let go when the time arrives. That means everything is going as it should be. Maybe you thought that you were good friends. Friends should know when to let go. True friends can meet up ten years later and start right where the left off. Let go. Let them find their way.

So next time you don’t get a reply, look at your phone and smile. Be happy they moved on to bigger things. They may merely be short of time now, and maybe you should be glad it’s not you. Team players take a lot fewer problems home and find it easier to sit back and relax. Chances are you’re just as lucky as they are and sometimes even luckier. Enjoy life. Next time they don’t reply, smile and wish them the best.

The Old Dirt Road

Paul Nieto
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5 Replies to “When Someone Advances and No Longer Has Time for You”

  1. This made me feel a little bit better because I have a friend from my old school who was messaging for so long, but I just guess I wasn't replying back the same and we've drifted apart. I felt bad, but I guess I've made new friends and so has she so it's all good really!

  2. I left behind a lot of people in my life and was left behind by others as well. So I’ve experienced both sides of the coin.It was no fun, but I know people come into your life to teach you lessons, good or bad. They bring out different sides of you. So in a way they will always be apart of you. And you’re right, old friends just pick up where they left off, even though you’re walking different paths now.

    1. It is sad to see people go. I have seen so many move far away to get jobs because many employers have left the area. I hate to see them go, but I know they are doing better and can better support their families now. I miss some of the people I used to meet for coffee over the years, but they are doing much bigger things now. Some of them are helping people that really need them. That is a good thing.

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